AUSTIN BARBIES!

2038-01-19T03:14:07Z

" Westlake Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only at Davenport Village . She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade, Prada and LV Handbags, Rolex watch a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home.
Available with or without tummy tuck and facelift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

" East Riverside Barbie"

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

"Round Rock Barbie"

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

" Bastrop Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

" Travis Heights Barbie"

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Travis Heights Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Downtown Barbie/Ken"

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding/subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

nancy drew who

AUSTIN BARBIES!